Secrets from the Kitchen

Since you all know I love lists so much, here are some straight-up truths I learned while working in the restaurant.

1. We will eat off your plate. When food hits the dish washing table in the back, it's fair game. This includes picking through your crab and lobster, untouched patacones, and shrimp left in the encocado.

2. Same goes for drinks. If you leave a third of a bottle of soda or pitcher of juice, we'll be finishing it for you.

3. If you're annoying, overly impatient, or straight up rude, I may bring cold patacones, smaller limes, or no straw.

4. I will also not make an effort to clear empty dishes from your table before everyone is done eating.  You can stare at destroyed shrimp shells for a while.

5. That napkin that comes on the fork at some places? Use it to clean your spoon first.  Trust me, things are washed in batches and sometimes it's not quite up to snuff.

6. Keep sending me back for limes, more plates, ketchup, and another soup and I will glare inside. Double if you say extra plates, and then tell me no, bowls to share the soup. You definitely used the word for 'plate'.

7. If you ask for juice with no ice, I just strain out the cubes.  They're already floating in the big bucket of it.  Don't worry, I drink it and I'm not sick yet.

8. If you order something not on the menu, it's gonna take 3 times as long to come. We're not set up to crank out special orders.  I'm going to have to ask for it 5 times before it actually gets prepped, especially on a busy day.

9. Your other order that took a long time to arrive?  Probably it's just because the kitchen had to get everything out fresh to make it.  There is a chance it slipped the mind of the kitchen, or someone else thought it was theirs to take.  If so, I'm fighting for you in the back and using my mind to will the food to cook faster.  I'm on your side, so don't give me dirty looks.  Unless I forgot to order it for you.  (That happened a time or two.)  But I promise I feel bad about it.

10. And finally, the secret to cooking all the food? Butter. Lots of it. Also ketchup. Like actually. It goes in everything.  But it tastes delicious.

And here's a panorama at sunset my last night in Cali.  I´ll get to the actual post shortly.