Convict Orange meets Volcano Black

March 24, 2016

This is the story of my day doing the thing rated #2 on CNNs Thrill Seekers Bucket List -volcano boarding. It started with the founder of Bigfoot Hostel (an Australian) deciding he wanted to snowboard down Cerro Negro. It didn't work too well, so he tried everything from mattresses to garbage can lids to picnic tables, and eventually settled on a wooden toboggan setup.

My day started at 8:30 with a briefing in the hostel, and buying a bandana. Though I already had one to cover my mouth, it was just $1 and a lovely tangerine shade, so now I have a volcano bandana.

We loaded everyone into the bus, after they checked us off and we signed where it said we wouldn't sue in the event of injury or death, and set out. We were supposed to be on a sweet orange monster dune buggy, but I think there were too many of us.

Not our sweet ride. We got a school bus instead.

An hour later, we pull up.

No entry. Risk of volcanic eruptions. Great.

Everyone paid the park entrance fee, and had a moment to look at the iguanas. There was also a snake to pay for a photo with. I didn't.

Then 10 more bumpy minutes and we were ready to head up the volcano.

Our bus, all dolled up in typical Nicaraguan fashion

They passed out a board to each person, a pair of lab goggles, and an orange drawstring bag that contained our protective jumpsuit for the top. We got to carry everything up of course.

Group photo before getting sweaty and dirty

Cerro Negro is a cinder cone, meaning it was formed by lava erupting explosively into clouds of cinders that built up the volcano. The rocks range from sand and gravel size to boulders at the bottom, but most of the trail is maybe half a cotton ball size. So you're walking up loose gravel. The trail has been used enough that its not quite two steps up one step back anymore, but it was close.

Once you got past the boulders at the bottom, it was just a flat lonely path

The view off the side was wonderful, with distant volcanoes, and old lava flows

It got windy. And we each had a personal sail with us. And it was 85 degrees. It was a bit of a slog to the top.

At one switchback there was a photogenic rock. You just had to be careful not to be blown off the wrong way.

From there we got our first view into the crater too.

The landscape was stunning.  Old lava flows were visible, and multiple surrounding volcanoes, though I forgot to ask Oscar, our guide to identify them.

Trusty board M36

Up to the top we went, where the wind was even worse. It picked up sand and gravel to fling at you. It hurt.

Final ascent to the top

We dropped our boards, and walked up to the very tippy top above the crater. There, Oscar dug up a pot that had baked potatoes warming. They were delicious actually, and since the ground was emitting steam in places, I don't think their temperature was just due to being buried in the hot sun all morning.

Digging up potatoes

I had long since decided wearing my goggles and bandana would cut down on the amount of stinging sand I got whipped into my eyes and cheeks. I also looked awesome.

Nabeel and I were both taking selfies, so we took a joint selfie, with two cameras. I still don't quite know why it happened.

After eating Volcano Potatoes, we all put on our jumpsuits. Again, photo ops galore.

Putting on an oversized jumpsuit in 50mph winds was tricky to say the least

The horizontal guy cracks me up. I'm on the far left.

I swear my jumpsuit was three sizes bigger than what everyone else got.  It was like a squirrel suit in the wind. I could lean 30 degrees easy.

We got one last safety talk from Oscar.  Basically keep your feet on the ground, you can't stop-don't try, and if you are gonna wipe out, ditch the board and protect your face.

We queued up on the slope, and got signaled to start on one of two runs once the previous person had reached the bottom. We couldn't see the bottom from where we were, it got steeper 20ft ahead of us.

My turn came.

Oh criminy jeez what am I doing

Off I went, and soon realized any steering and speed control was futile. I was at the mercy of the volcano and gravity.

I sped down the slope hoping I wasn't going to hit a bump and bounce off my board, leaving a trail of expletives behind me.

Convict turned sandperson. Also I kept my sunglasses on under the goggles, so I'm kinda bug eyed too, which amuses me.

Once I came to a stop at the bottom, I collapsed spread eagle on my back, feeling rather grateful I was still intact and not bleeding. I found out my speed clocked with a radar gun was 53kph (32.2mph) so I felt justified in my terror.

This is my 'I can't believe I'm still alive' look.  Later I discovered the gravel stuck to my cheek.

Watching the rest come down behind me was a bit nerve wracking too, since I didn't really want to watch anyone bite it and break a collar bone. A couple riders got spontaneous applause from the onlookers when they obviously did well in the speed department. A couple wipeouts, but no serious injuries.

At the end the fastest speed was 82kph, second and third were in the 70s. I was the third fastest girl, and 8th overall out of 40 or so. I'll take it.

The three fastest, alive and well somehow: Greg, Katherine, and Nabeel

We hauled our dirty selves back to the bus where we were rewarded with a cookie and a cold  beer. A much more chatty hour later, and we were back to the hostel.

Boards and bags waiting to get loaded back on the bus

The fastest girl and guy got the 'reward' of the lava shot challenge, 3 shots of habañero infused rum in 45 seconds, then a 30 second wait before eating or drinking anything. Didn't sound like much of a reward to me. They did get a free lava shot challenge tank top for completing it though.

I was more than content with my standard volcano boarding one.

And now I have slid down an active volcano on a wooden tobaggan at over 30mph looking like an escaped convict sand person, AND I lived to tell about it. Mark that one down in the story of my life.